Maya Vander Details “Difficult” Christmas After Devastating Stillbirth

For some, it’s not the most wonderful time of the year. And that’s OK.

Earlier this month, Maya Vander shared the heartbreaking news that she delivered baby boy Mason in a stillbirth—and now, she’s opening up about her grief over the holidays.

“This is not the Christmas Eve I had envisioned,” the Selling Sunset star captioned a picture of her family in front of their Christmas tree. “This was the day Mason would have come home with us.”

And while she acknowledged she was smiling in the photo—which features husband David Miller and their kids Aiden, 2, and Elle, 19 months—she admitted looks can be deceiving. “It’s been difficult,” she wrote. “I never experienced grief this way. Our family is taking it one day at a time and we are just trying our best for the kids. I am extremely grateful for all the kindness and messages I have been getting. We are thankful for our children and know that it will be ok.”